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Vol.4. NO.9 (WhoLe No. 23)......................................................Pages 10 and 11 WEIRD NEWS
Translations The following signs have been found in various locations, using the English language somewhat creatively. Cocktail lounge, Norway LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Budapest zoo PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY Doctor's office, Rome SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Hotel, Acapulco THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Using hotel air conditioner, Japan COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Car rental brochure, Tokyo WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLE YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR. Men's rest room in Japan TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT Nairobi restaurant CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a private school NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. On an Athi River highway TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. A sign on an automatic restroom hand dryer DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. In a Pumwani maternity ward NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. In a cemetery PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. Sign in Japanese public bath FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB. Tokyo hotel's rules GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. Menu of Swiss restaurant OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. Tokyo bar SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Bangkok temple IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Hotel brochure, Italy THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE. Hotel lobby, Bucharest THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. Hotel elevator, Paris PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. Hotel, Yugoslavia THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Japan YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. Hotel catering to skiers, Austria NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. Menu, Poland SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION. Supermarket, Hong Kong FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. The Soviet Weekly THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS. East African newspaper A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS. Sign in Germany's Black Forest IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Hotel, Zurich BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. Ad by Hong Kong dentist TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. Laundry in Rome LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES. Ad for donkey rides, Thailand WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? On box of clockwork toy made in Hong Kong GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE. In a Swiss mountain inn SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
More
Things to Worry About A
car traveling on Interstate 77 just north of Charlotte,
N.C., was hit by a flying speedboat at 2:20 a.m. on Aug.
21; the boat was dashing across adjacent Lake Norman,
became airborne, clipped the car, and landed in the
median, but the only casualties were the boaters. And a
13-year-old girl was expelled from school in Beaver, Pa.,
in July for performing oral sex on a boy during a school
bus ride home in May; her mother had challenged the
expulsion, unsuccessfully arguing that the school had
never specified which activities were unacceptable.
[Myrtle Beach Sun News, 8-22-03] [Beaver County Times,
7-27-03] Below the Fold (1)
Ben Mann (apparently a very good meditator) fell out of a
tree while meditating, down a 30-foot ravine, and had to
be rescued (Berkeley, Calif., June). How Blackouts Work
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Inside This Issue Americanos: Latino Life in the United States ........ 1 Another Mistake .... ..10 Book Review .. 15 Call Girl ... .7 Cat-Astroph ... .12 Follow Up to Open Letter...................4 How Bush Won the 20044 Election .... 11 Loose Labeling ... ..6 Mommys Little Angel ..............15 Naked Lunch .... ...12 New Film Instructors....... 6 North Central NM Events..................3 Objective Science Does NOT Exist Here .............5 Resolution Opposing Modern Pit Facility........ 7 Roosevelt vs. Bush ................9 Solar Fiesta 2003 ........... ..1 Smart Bomb Technology Moving to China .......... .5 Translations .12 Unclassifieds . .7 Use It & Pay For It ................. 7 Volcanic Activity in Espaņola Valley? ......... 3 Who Was It? .......... 10 |
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